Go On, Learn Another Language!

“If you can speak three languages you're trilingual.  If you can speak two languages you're bilingual.  If you can speak only one language you're an American.” ~Author Unknown

Learning to speak a foreign language may seem unorthodox to many people; especially many English-speaking gents. In Italy, having the ability to speak English is highly desired. For the Italians, if you can speak English, you have a much greater chance succeeding at finding a high-paying job. 

So here I am, mother-tongue English trying to learn Italian.

Sounds a bit backwards right?

In fact, many of my friends and colleagues don’t understand. They say to me, “Marissa, everyone wants to speak English, why bother to speak Italian?”

Well, I had a thought last night, as I tried to rationalize my passion for learning a romance language and it went a little something like this:

The world is made up of hundreds, if not thousands of varying cultures and languages, and it seems it is utterly impossible for one to have any type of competence regarding these cultures unless the language barrier is broken down. 

Am I not right? 

I mean, when my mom and brother came to Rome, I think the biggest shock for them was the language; almost as if they expected everyone to speak English without hesitation.

English may be the most desirable language for success and prominence, but how can we allow ourselves to be binded by one language, one “culture” when the world is so huge?

It’s so satisfying to be able to understand when listening to Italians speak, or to read a book or watch an commercial and understand it’s meaning. And I feel learning a language is a task everyone should take a stab at. I mean, why not? It’s challenging, yes, and frustrating, but, rewarding.

It’s impossible to learn and understand every culture, but we have the capacity to learn as much as possible, so why not try to learn something apart from what we already know?

Language shouldn’t bind us, it should set us free. I think everyone should take the time to challenge themselves and learn a different language. It will open you to a variety of new experiences and challenges, and will let you adapt understanding to a culture completely different from your own.

The quote I use above is so true - it speaks of our own ignorance to the world outside of America. I'm proud to be American, and I LOVE English. But, when I run into people my own age who can speak 5 languages, and I’m struggling with two - I think it says something! 

Challenge yourself, don't allow one language to bind you.

Go, learn and speak!!

(As my brother learned, it helps you pick up chicks as well)

Feels Like I'm Home

 “When you look at your life, the greatest happinesses 

are family happinesses.”  ~Joyce Brothers

You know that saying, “you can’t take it with you” ? That’s exactly how I feel when I move somewhere new. When I left home for the first time, I realized my family structure would be different from that moment on; I wouldn’t have the comfort of my big, pink bed, smelling my dad’s cologne in the morning, or the late-night Sheetz runs with my mom. My home town may not be anything to write home about, and I can strongly say missing DuBois is difficult for me. 

But missing my family; that’s another thing.

Since moving to Rome, a part of me is missing, and that part is my family. I can’t just hop in my car after work and drive 57 miles to DuBois...now I live 4,500 miles away, and that makes it a tad bit more difficult. 

Last week, my famil made the 12-hour flight to Rome to visit, and I was molto contenta, very happy. Having the ability to show my mom, brother, and my best friend the city where I reside gave me the utmost joy. I wanted them to see this beautiful city that takes my breath away, and I wanted them to experience a culture unlike ours. 

Honestly, I think many things surprised them; my mom who has drank coffee her entire life couldn’t handle the strength of Italian coffee; John wanted to meet an Italian girl, but realized that “Ciao” wasn’t going to get him to far, and Neeshy just wanted her greasy hot wings....all I could say was ‘Benvenuti a Roma!” “Welcome to Rome!”

The culture is different, the food is different, the people are different, and I utterly love everything about it, and I hope they did too. Visiting Italy will change them, whether they realize it or not. 

Even though I can’t keep my family here, or take them with me everywhere I venture in my life, I can hold onto the fact that no matter the distance, plane, train, boat, or automobile, we can be together, even if just for a moment.

Due

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you did not do. 

So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. 

Catch the trade winds in your sails. 

Explore. 

Dream. 

Discover.”

Two girls, from two completely different countries, time zones...basically, two completely different worlds. But together, they have formed a common a bond; spreading their wings out to fly solo, amongst strangers, all while trying to figure out what direction their life should and will take them next.

There is no better place, to relax from a long day and think about their future, then along the sandy beaches of Ostia, Italy. Watching the sun set over the Mediterranean, they watch the day light colors of white and blue fade into long ribbons of purple and pink, all while sipping on a quite memorable wine and laughing at the creepy Italian men as they pass by.

Two girls.

Two Au Pairs.

Two friends <3 

We don't have it all together; we have faults and fears, and every day stresses, but, somehow, lying on that towel, feeling the breeze in our face and the sound of the ocean reaching the beach, we realize everything will be ok. 

And for a moment, life is picture perfect.

The Essence of Play

"The Essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets

 that we reluctantly shared with traffic." - Bill Cosby

A room full of toys; stuffed animals, barbies, coloring books. You name it, Bea has it all, somewhere. Toys and gizmos that would most definitely keep a child happy and occupied without a care in the world for days and days.

But I’ve come to realize it’s not the number of toys she has, it’s her imagination that is important. A gift from God that we must never lose - no matter how old and “responsible” we become.

Yesterday, after lunch, I sat at the kitchen table with Bea and watched her create Il Lago di Pasta, or, Lake Pasta. A simple kitchen bowl filled with Winnie the Pooh pasta, water, and Hello Kitty toys. 

Sounds simplistic, as it was, but as I watched her intently, I could almost see the gears in her head turning; she was developing a masterpiece and her imagination was taking her to far off places.  

For a good hour Bea’s creativity soared through the roof and I couldn’t help but smile. The energy surrounding her and her happiness at the simplest task was contagious.

It was then I realized the utmost importance of play. I recall craving long, hot summer afternoons at “Castle Park” with my mom and brother, or running my “Wolf Den” restaurant in the basement of my house. I could be anyone and anything I wanted to be, with a few toys and my imagination, I ran the world and 

accomplished all my dreams.

Through play and imagination we develop our sense of self - what we want to be when we “grow-up”.

If we can make our imaginations become realities at the age of 4, why now, when we are older, can’t we do the same?

I believe we can.

By watching Bea I realize I can let my imagination soar and I can accomplish anything I want. 

A little imagination, a pinch of creativity, and a towel to clean up the mess and we all can find our joys, even if they are as simple as Lake Pasta.

A Long, Hard Week...And It's Only Monday

I’m exhausted. And It’s only Monday. 

My head is spinning and I can’t wait for sleep tonight. That’s sad, considering it’s only 10:05. 

Today was a rough day with Bea. After school, I could immediately tell something was wrong; she wasn’t smiling, she wasn’t happy...and somehow I felt this was my fault?

Patience. Just be patient. 

I tried telling myself this over and over today, but I couldn’t for long; she wouldn’t listen, she wouldn’t eat, and she was not her typical self. 

Finally, I had enough. 

I turned off our songs, cleared the table, told her she wasn’t allowed milk and biscotti (a tradition of ours) and let her sit by herself without paying any attention to her.

I felt horrible inside!

I’ve never had to be stern with her before, but today I had too show her that I wasn’t a pushover and that she couldn’t get away with misbehaving (not that she was). 

I could see in her eyes that she knew she was not behaving like herself, and that she was hurting my feelings by her behavior. 

She is intelligent; smart, clever, and I appreciate this about her. I think it makes it easier to communicate with her, since she is observant and smart. But still, I wanted to scream.

But I didn't know what was wrong!

What was I doing?

After different attempts, I realized to get her to play and be herself, I needed to play; I put on our music, started coloring and she would peek her head in the kitchen to see what I was doing. I asked her to help me, and she did.

Thank god...

We played, ate strawberries and milk, and we sang.

The day got better, but I am drained.

This is a terribly difficult situation. I want nothing more than to have fun with Bea, but I need her to realize this is not a game and that I am serious.

Confession:

I never realized how difficult it was to watch children (let alone raise them). I can now understand what it’s like to be a mom, but the scary thing is, I don’t know if I could ever see myself being a mom...at least a good enough one.

How would I ever have the patience?

Props to my mom; for her patience, constant love, understanding and discipline.

I guess I can only hope my efforts help Bea grow and learn, and that she loves me just the same; no matter if I turn our songs off or not 

Fulfilling Our Dreams

 Who ever says dreams don't come true? 

A dream is a wish your heart makes...and believe me, I'm a perfect example of conquering your fears and fulfilling your dreams, as is my friend Travis! 

On one of our final days together in Reggio last summer, Travis and I stood on a balcony over looking the sea, and the beautiful beach of Scilla.

Together, we promised each other we would return to Italy.

On Saturday, our promise to one another came true!

We both have returned to Italy; venturing off onto two different paths, but our promises, our dreams, came true.

I was thrilled to be with him in Rome. It was nice having a familiar face around! We ate Italian food, drank some wine (and some more wine), traveled around Piazza Venezia, and finished our evening eating gelato in front of the Pantheon...

The beauty of Italy is something we both treasure.

I’m excited for his adventures, and although we are missing many links to our Summer 2010 group, the memories remain in our heart, and on our minds constantly!

Eating Eggs - Breaking Rules!

Italians definitely do things differently than Americans. I have tried adapting to the cultural changes, and I think I’m doing a decent job. However, I couldn’t resist. Today, I decided to break a rule... and it was a doozy!

I decided for breakfast, instead of eating typical biscotti and a fruit, I would have a good old fashioned American Breakfast! One that I know will make me feel “full and focused” all day, and during my run!

So what did I eat? I ate eggs. 

Yes. EGGS!

You might be wondering why this is so strange, as eggs are a staple in American’s breakfasts, but here, not so much.

Eggs are available, and Italians eat them, but very seldom, and NEVER for breakfast.

But I did it! I brewed a nice espresso, cooked three eggs sunny-side up with freshly-grated parmigiana, and I even found some ketchup in the fridge to top it off.

Granted, I did this by myself, without any one watching, so it’s not that cool - 

but hey, at least I know I’m a bad-ass breaking all the rules! 

The Simple Joy of A Child

“If you carry your childhood with you, 

you never become older.” 

Tom Stoppard, Brittish Playwright 1937

I was blessed as a child to have a loving family dedicated to bringing me joy and happiness every day. My childhood was filled with many memories of happy, joyous days; trips to the park and to my grandma’s house, Disney shows on ice, weekends in Pittsburgh, Christmas celebrations, birthday parties...the list goes on. 

Even as I grew older, my brother and I knew we could always count of our parents to support us and to this day, they continue to give us the world. 

Childhood is a precious time in every life, and I’m beginning to realize that even more as I interact with a young child every day. I see the happiness the simplest things bring her; like a coloring book, or freshly-picked flowers from the side of the road.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could all have the joy a young child feels day in and day out? As I watch Bea play, and tell stories to her parents, I’m immediately filled with happiness just seeing her smile.

This morning, I had Bea all too myself as her mom is in Texas and her dad had to fly to Milan this morning. Since she is so young, I know the sadness she feels when she wakes up and neither of her parents are here to greet her, but with patience and warm milk, her sadness evaporates to happiness (eventually).

As people grow older, and responsibilities mount - schedules to maintain, work to complete, bills to pay, many find it increasingly difficult to maintain a positive and optimistic outlook. For me, a warm and happy personality suits me, but I worry that as I get older, I will fall into the same routines that many people I know have fallen into - and their happiness is sacrificed for these ‘routines’.

This thought scares me. I never want to lose the joy I feel in my heart every morning when I wake up (even if I’m crabby and need 3 coffees to get my brain firing). I never want to lose the sparkle in my eyes, the same sparkle I see in Bea, or the carefree smile that overcomes me when my heart is about to burst.

I think it is important to interact with children, and see the simple joy of their happiness. It helps me realize that no matter what stresses we feel, or insecurities we have, if we take a few minutes everyday to enjoy life like a 4-year-old, we would have much more joy and innocence in our lives.

So that is what I strive for, and will continue to strive for - I want to carry the happiness I felt as I child, and am reminded of when I watch Bea, every where I go. And I think you should do the same! Stop and pick some wild flowers, or spend a day coloring - I promise your heart will thank you!

Four Weeks

“We don't have an eternity to realize our dreams, 

only the time we are here.”

It’s hard to believe, but an entire month has passed by since I packed my bags and headed through security at Philadelphia International. I was seeking out a dream; a wish my heart, mind and soul had craved for months and months and months.

In one month, I can honestly say I have learned so much; not only the fundamentals of a foreign language, but the difficulty of teaching a child, the strength of Italian espresso, what NOT to wear (including bathrobes), but, most importantly, I have learned a lot about myself. 

I’ve discovered strength; strength to get up every morning knowing that I have to challenge myself to adapt to a completely different culture.  Living out of my comfort zone is hard, but I’ve always liked a good challenge.

I have learned patience (and am still learning); I realize I need patience to successfully help Beatrice grow and learn, as well as developing patience while learning this language (I expected to be fluent in two weeks).

I have learned admiration; how to step back and admire the beauty of God’s creations. I know how to slow down and take in a sunset, or walk around the ruins of Ancient Rome and feel the power and magic they possess. I realize there is much more to life than the chaos I have experienced in my past. By stopping to smell the roses, I can enjoy life’s simple pleasures (and I save money too).

I have discovered loneliness; I live with a wonderful family, I’ve made friends, but I am on my own and lacking the security I had at home. But with this revelation, I seek the goodness and love that surrounds me day-to-day and I realize with time, this sensation will disappear.

Four weeks; it’s not a lot of time, but if I have learned this much in a month, I can’t wait to see where the next 5 months take me. 

Distance

"Just because we don't talk

 doesn't mean I don't think about you. 

I'm just trying to distance myself because I know

 I can't have you."

Sometimes I hold onto things I shouldn’t- usually, I hold onto people.  Even after our time together has long ended. I can, and will, openly acknowledge this trait might be one of my biggest faults. It’s a bad trait, because once these people are out of my life, I can’t stop thinking about them, or the memories I had with them. Even if the memories aren’t so nice. 

I’m a “people person”, always have been, always will be - so when I lose someone and reality sets in, it’s hard letting go. It hurts knowing things can never go back to the way they were, especially when the moments you have with certain people are moments you would give anything to go back to...

But I need to learn to stop living in the past; and live in the present.

My horoscope yesterday really knocked me off of my feet. I’m not someone who relies on my daily horoscope to run my life, but sometimes, I like to read what’s in the stars. And yesterday, it was quite fitting.

This is what it said:

“...If you're concerned about the love that certain close people have for you, you shouldn't try to over-compensate... This period is about keeping your distance and putting your relationships into perspective to see what they're really worth to you...”

Precise words which fit my mood.

Distance. 

Yes, I’m distant, very distant from my home. And yes, I’m very distant from my friends and family.

BUT - I must LEARN to distance myself from people, who have hurt me, or who I can’t have any longer. Memories are beautiful; moments in time which I will never forget. But they are the past - not my present. I need to bottle them up, and put them away in a safe place. That way if I ever want to relive them, I know where to find them, but I'm not relying on the past to get me through my present.

Heartaches, heartbreaks, sadness, loneliness; these are all emotions we can’t control. But I'm slowly learning we can control what we do to fill the void in our hearts. Distance will help; now I just need to master it.