Say Goodbye Summer

Life Doesn’t Give You The People You Want, It Gives You The People You Need: 

To Love You, To Hate You, To Break You 

& To Make You The Person You Were Meant To Be

Every year, as August fades into September, I ask myself, 

“Where did my Summer go?”

Those hot, endless days and warm nights under the stars seem to pass by as if on fast forward. 

This Summer was quite different from all my other Summers, and as I reflect back on the past three months, I can see it’s beauty, but I can feel how truly life-changing it really was.

Spending my second summer in Italy enabled me many opportunities. Not just to visit beaches and tour ancient ruins, but to grow. 

I’ve never felt so different; so much stronger and independent and wise as I do now. I don’t feel invincible like I did in college, but I feel durable.

Almost as if you could throw any situation my way, and I will somehow work through it.

I am in Italy.  Clearly I spent many nights with my friends, dancing in the sand, eating gelato and taking aperitivos. Those memories dance around in my head like perfect little ballerinas; they represent happiness, friendships, love, and peacefulness. Reflecting on those moments form a long-lasting smile on my face.

But there are moments that throw me into deep reflection; where I shake my head and wonder “What were you doing?” I mean, I got robbed twice in three weeks and had a date with a guy who tried to sleep with me in a park. Then there’s that feeling, that sting in my chest, where I question,“What went wrong?”  I lost a friend, someone very important to me who changed me. And that feeling is the hardest of all.

But, there are moments of accomplishment; I’m becoming profficient in a foreign language and at the same time, teaching another language to a little girl. These accomplishments fill me with pride and contentment. And once again, prove to me that I can do anything I set my mind too.

I was willing to dare when I moved to Rome on my own; and despite a few setbacks, some heartbreaks and a few moments of despair, because I was willing to dare, I can say I succeeded in the Summer of 2011.

Personally. Intellectually. Mentally. And emotionally.

I truly believe these people I experienced the good, the bad and the ugly with this Summer were brought into my life for a reason: to help me grow.

So yes, Giovanni may have treated me like scum, the robbers may have my money and two of my phones, and Mirto may have broken my heart, but Francesca and Vincenzo have given me a chance, Bea has grown to love me, Meggie has become my rock, and Sabrina has become my dear friend.

So after three months of ups and downs, happiness and tears, I can say that I have been broken, and rebuilt, but now I’m stronger, and changed, for the better.

I may be Unforgettable. 

But after this summer, I am stronger. 

I am Unshakable.

Theme Song

You know how the time flies

Only yesterday

It was the time of our lives

We were born and raised

In a summer haze

Bound by the surprise

Of our glory days

I associate moments in time, people I meet, and experiences I have with specific songs. As soon as I hear a certain song, it’s as if I’m immediately cadapulted back into that moment. 

I think I may have found the secret to time travelling.

 Whenever I want to relive a moment in time, I choose a song, and my mind races to find the memory. Recently, there has been a moment I’ve been meaning to “find”, but I needed to right song. Well I found that song yesterday as I sipped Italian espresso on the balcony. 

It’s brought me relief, happiness, 

and has brought me to a place of contentment. 

The song is “Someone Like You” by Adele. Give it a listen, maybe it will catapult you to a moment in your life missing it’s “theme song.”

My Best Friend

“We have something special that no one, no distance, no time can take away...we have each other.” 

-Andrew Tawney

I’ve spent the last 20 days with my best friend Nichele. Someone who I can sit beside on a couch, without saying a word, yet feeling completely satisfied. 

Someone I feel completely invincible with, whether we are running around Rome, or catching invisible trains to Reggio Calabria. When I’m with Nichele, my happiness reaches a completely different level. 

I can count on her to be there when I need her the most, to tell me when I’m overreacting, smack me when I date the wrong guys, or be my sidekick when a girl needs put in her place. 

But most of all, despite time apart, and a big pond between us, nothing changed they way we are together. We are both growing up and finding our own way through life, but, no matter what we do, or where we end up, we will always stay grounded and always stay true to each other. 

We have had our moments, times when we destroy everything and everyone in our path, when we drink too much and say things we don’t mean.  Without Neesh, I wouldn’t lose my keys and get robbed, without me, Neesh wouldn’t get stuck in Italy and lose her phone. But, we realize without each other, these moments just wouldn’t quite be the same. We are learning and growing together, and making an impact everywhere we go (good or bad).

Because that is what true friendship is about, loving each other and accepting each other for who we are, no matter where this crazy world takes us. We conquered Penn State together, we are conquering Italy together, next, who knows, but with her, I am confident we could conquer the world.

Ti Voglio Tanto Bene Neeshy <3 

No Second Chances

"You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching, 

Love like you'll never be hurt, 

Sing like there's nobody listening, 

And live like it's heaven on earth." 

— William W. Purkey

As we work our way through our own story, we learn many lessons; difficult lessons that harden our hearts and turn us off from the beauty of the world surrounding us. Lessons which form us as we grow. We learn the people who weren’t ever supposed to let us down, let us down. You will have your heart broken and you'll most likely break others' hearts. You'll cry with your best friend because time is flying by, you’ll fight with your best friend, and maybe, you’ll even fall in love with them. 

But time is to precious. So learn to live the time that is given to you.

I vow too take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like I've never been hurt. Because this life of ours comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances.  

Make a vow to tell someone what they mean to you, even if it hurts. When someone hurts you, tell them off, speak out, stand up for yourself. 

Vow to dance in the sand, and dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, and comfort a friend.  Fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts.  

Don't be afraid to take chances. Don’t be afraid to fall in love. Don’t be afraid to fail.  So keep smiling. Keep trudging forward.

Because to live is rare, most people just exist. 

Feels Like I'm Home

 “When you look at your life, the greatest happinesses 

are family happinesses.”  ~Joyce Brothers

You know that saying, “you can’t take it with you” ? That’s exactly how I feel when I move somewhere new. When I left home for the first time, I realized my family structure would be different from that moment on; I wouldn’t have the comfort of my big, pink bed, smelling my dad’s cologne in the morning, or the late-night Sheetz runs with my mom. My home town may not be anything to write home about, and I can strongly say missing DuBois is difficult for me. 

But missing my family; that’s another thing.

Since moving to Rome, a part of me is missing, and that part is my family. I can’t just hop in my car after work and drive 57 miles to DuBois...now I live 4,500 miles away, and that makes it a tad bit more difficult. 

Last week, my famil made the 12-hour flight to Rome to visit, and I was molto contenta, very happy. Having the ability to show my mom, brother, and my best friend the city where I reside gave me the utmost joy. I wanted them to see this beautiful city that takes my breath away, and I wanted them to experience a culture unlike ours. 

Honestly, I think many things surprised them; my mom who has drank coffee her entire life couldn’t handle the strength of Italian coffee; John wanted to meet an Italian girl, but realized that “Ciao” wasn’t going to get him to far, and Neeshy just wanted her greasy hot wings....all I could say was ‘Benvenuti a Roma!” “Welcome to Rome!”

The culture is different, the food is different, the people are different, and I utterly love everything about it, and I hope they did too. Visiting Italy will change them, whether they realize it or not. 

Even though I can’t keep my family here, or take them with me everywhere I venture in my life, I can hold onto the fact that no matter the distance, plane, train, boat, or automobile, we can be together, even if just for a moment.

Let's Go To The Movies!

“Cinema should make you forget you are sitting in a theater.” 

 ~Roman Polanski

In Rome last Saturday it was miserably hot, and sometimes, Italy is too much - the coffee isn’t big enough, the gym’s smell like B.O., and everything closes at noon for a siesta.

Alas, finding a movie theatre, in Rome, where you can watch Harry Potter in English gave me and Michelle a little slice of America just when we needed it. 

Popcorn, candy, red velvet seats, surround-sound, and English - lots of English.

For two hours we escaped the heat and felt at home; and sometimes, there’s nothing wrong with going home.

Addio Nonna

“Until We Meet Again, 

May God Hold You In The Palm of His Hand.” 

-Irish Prayer

I remember going to church every Sunday (or Saturday evening) with my family growing up. I never fully understood the importance of this act until I was much older. But, there was one prayer that always stuck with me. Even if I was daydreaming of gummy bears and Disney Princesses’s, when Fr. Walk would give his parting prayer, I always listened, and loved every word.

This Irish Prayer sounded so beautiful to my ears; a few simple words, but they touched my heart. I always loved mass with Fr. Walk, because I knew I would hear this prayer.

This prayer came to mind last Friday, as I had to say goodbye to my grandma from 4500 miles away. An act I never imagined; losing someone I’ve had in my life since the day I was born, and I had to say goodbye on the phone. I was warned about this before I left America, the possibility of a death in the family. Everyone I talked to told me to be wary, and realize “coming home” would be impossible. But I never thought it would actually happen.

It was a strange sensation; I cried as I thought about the times in my life I shared with my grandma, but the grief I felt was not about her death, but more about my inability to be with my family, especially my dad during this time. I think my grandma was proud of me; she always seemed proud to call me her granddaughter, and I know she lived a wonderful life blessed with a family, friends and love.

It pains me to know my family had to be incomplete during this time, and I hope my grandma is smiling down on me now. And if there is anything   I could say to her, it would be my favorite Irish prayer; it has a lasting power for me, and I would wish the same upon her. So as we lay her to rest, I'm thinking of her and my family, and although I'm not there physically, I'm with you in spirit...

Ti voglio bene, ti voglio tanto bene....addio.